Few can dispute that we live in a world where image and the opinions of others matter more than they should. Is it surprising that most of us struggle to be just fine with who we see in the mirror? Humans have always sought acceptance, and few can resist basing their self-esteem on others’ opinions. Mitchell “Mitch” Cozad, who served nearly three years in prison for assault before becoming an attorney, has learned that it doesn’t matter what others think of you – it only matters what you think of yourself.
“Felon” would follow him despite all his efforts to atone for a poor decision and become a different man. When Cozad was released, it was a word that would be a conversation-stopper and create an empty invisible circle around him.
“We all struggle at some point with how we see ourselves,” Cozad says. “The opinions of other people, whether we admit it or not, can affect it. If we receive compliments, that can increase our self-esteem. If, however, other people’s reactions are negative, that can drag us down – unless we develop the mentality that how we view ourselves is not contingent on what others think of us, good or bad.”
When individuals reenter society, they often face a common obstacle: society’s collective judgment, shaped by phenomena known as groupthink and herd mentality. Groupthink occurs unintentionally when a group’s emphasis on consensus leads to the disregard of differing opinions and overlooks crucial details. Similarly, herd mentality involves following the crowd without questioning, which can negatively affect returning citizens who are frequently judged by stereotypes rather than their actual personal changes.
This scenario becomes more challenging when individuals reentering society are judged more by their past mistakes than their current actions, complicating their reintegration. Bias affects professional and social interactions, as dominant opinions often overshadow alternative views, quickly dismissing differing perspectives. This not only holds back the acceptance of new ideas but also perpetuates existing prejudices, as people conform to group norms for a sense of security and acceptance, allowing collective consensus to override factual accuracy.
“This is the nightmare that so many people who make mistakes or a bad decision must face when attempting redemption – if they even can attain the support system to do so,” Mitch Cozad says.
As Cozad reintegrated with society and noticed how other individuals perceived him because of his history, he realized three things: he could not control what other people thought of him, he had a life to continue living, and he had to choose how he would see himself.
“Is there ever a time when we outrun our pasts?” Cozad asks. “If you accept responsibility, fulfill your obligations to society, and fundamentally transform yourself, can you then move past your mistakes and live your life? Many of us would say yes, but people who have been incarcerated experience a different reality once they rejoin society.”
One of the most basic rights anyone has, regardless of what they have or have not done, is to define or redefine themselves. Cozad could not change other people’s opinions, but he believed that he had the right to live as a new person.
“It hasn’t been easy,” Mitchell Cozad admits. “I reflected on my actions and the addiction that drove them, acknowledged my mistakes, and committed to change. Facing all this, I chose to ignore societal judgments and redefine myself. I could dwell on my past errors and hate myself, but that would achieve nothing. Instead, I recognized my faults and dealt with them.”
With his future ahead, Cozad achieved something many find difficult: he forgave himself. This forgiveness lifted a burden, allowing him to view the coming years as an opportunity to shape his life as an imperfect man who has moved past his mistakes, regardless of societal opinions.
“Some will always judge me,” Mitch concedes, “but I refuse to let their views affect my self-perception. Waking up each day at peace with who I am is invaluable, and I will never let that be taken from me. I’ve come to realize that the people who judge or criticize me often aren’t achieving as much in their own lives. This has taught me to think carefully about where feedback comes from and to focus on the advice that helps me grow.”
In a society influenced by opinions, overcoming stigmatization, especially post-incarceration, is challenging. Individuals often judged by their past and affected by society must recognize that true self-worth is self-defined. Self-acceptance and personal growth help transcend these judgments. Seeking supportive communities, engaging in therapy, and attending self-improvement workshops are essential steps. This journey of self-forgiveness and self-definition is vital for reintegration and empowering for those reclaiming their identity amid adversity.