It seems the perks of being a music industry titan don’t extend quite as far as the walls of a federal prison. Just ask Sean “Diddy” Combs, the embattled rap mogul who has been languishing behind bars at the Metropolitan Detention Center in Brooklyn since mid-September.
While Combs may be accustomed to the finer things in life, his lawyers reveal that the rapper’s biggest struggle in prison has been far more fundamental: the food. “I think the food’s probably the roughest part of it,” Combs’ attorney, Marc Agnifilo, confessed to reporters outside a Manhattan courthouse on Thursday.
It’s a rather underwhelming revelation, considering the laundry list of charges Combs is facing – including conspiracy racketeering, sex trafficking, and transportation to engage in prostitution. But the lawyer’s candid admission speaks volumes about the harsh realities of life in federal lockup, even for a mogul of Combs’ stature.
According to the MDC Brooklyn’s menu, Combs’ daily meals consist of humble fare, including breakfast offerings like cereal, fruit, and a breakfast cake and lunch and dinner options like Swedish meatballs, black bean burgers, egg noodles, and roast beef. This is not precisely the gourmet spread one might expect for a man of Combs’ means.
And it’s not just the food quality that seems to be troubling the rapper. Agnifilo also took issue with the sheer quantity of baby oil and personal lubricant found during the FBI’s raid on Combs’ homes, suggesting that the 1,000 bottles discovered were simply the result of the music mogul’s penchant for buying in bulk at Costco.
“I don’t think it was 1,000,” Agnifilo told The New York Post last month. “I think it was a lot. I mean, there is a Costco right down the street. I think Americans buy in bulk, as we know.”
Ah, yes, the old “Costco defense” – a novel strategy, to be sure, but one that seems unlikely to sway a jury when the prosecutors are alleging that Combs used those very same items to facilitate “freak offs,” or highly orchestrated sex performances, as part of his alleged sex trafficking operation.
Of course, Combs has vehemently denied all the charges against him, pleading not guilty to the litany of counts he’s facing. And his lawyers, including Agnifilo, have been working overtime to mount a robust defense, even going so far as to accuse the government of leaking damning surveillance footage that appears to show Combs violently assaulting his ex-girlfriend, Cassie Ventura, in a 2016 hotel incident.
But despite their best efforts, Combs’ time behind bars appears to be anything but a walk in the park. In addition to the prison food woes, the rapper has been forced to endure the indignity of wearing tan prison garb and being shuffled in and out of the courthouse in shackles, a far cry from the designer suits and red-carpet appearances that once defined his public persona.
And with his trial not even slated to begin until May 2025, it’s clear that Combs has a long and arduous road ahead of him as he fights to clear his name and reclaim his freedom.
“The leaks have resulted in damaging and highly prejudicial media coverage, particularly sensationalizing the investigation and the involvement of Mr. Combs’ family,” his attorneys claimed in a recent filing, underscoring the uphill battle they face in securing a fair trial for their embattled client.
For now, Combs will have to content himself with the monotonous rhythm of prison life – waking up at 6 a.m. for breakfast, enduring the midday meal, and then sitting down to a dinner of, well, who knows what. Perhaps a nice plate of Swedish meatballs if he’s feeling exceptionally fortunate.
It’s a far cry from the lavish lifestyle Combs has long been accustomed to. Still, perhaps this new-found appreciation for the simple pleasures in life – like a halfway decent meal – will serve him well as he navigates the treacherous waters of the criminal justice system. After all, as the old saying goes, the way to a man’s heart is through his stomach. And for Diddy, the route to redemption may very well run through the prison cafeteria.