Actress Anna Kendrick has never shied away from tackling difficult subject matter, both on-screen and off. But in a recent interview, the Pitch Perfect star has revealed a deeply personal story—her own harrowing experience with an emotionally abusive relationship.
a relationship “extremely similar” to her film role
In an appearance on the Call Her Daddy podcast, Kendrick shared how her 2022 film Alice, Darling eerily mirrored her own life, as the movie followed a woman trapped in an emotionally abusive relationship with her successful boyfriend.
“I had just gotten out of a relationship that was extremely similar to the movie,” Kendrick told host Alex Cooper, adding that she didn’t tell anyone close to her about taking on the role because “I didn’t want anybody to tell me to not do it.”
Much like the character in the film, Kendrick detailed the immense difficulty she had in recognizing the abuse for what it was, even as it unfolded over the course of their seven-year relationship.
Abuse That “Didn’t Follow the Traditional Pattern”
“It didn’t follow the traditional pattern,” Kendrick explained, noting how abuse can often manifest in unexpected ways. “Because I was reading all the articles and going, ‘This doesn’t look like—some of it looks like how they’re describing it, but not completely.'”
Instead, the abuse seemed to creep up on her overnight, with Kendrick describing an “overnight switch” that lasted for about a year. And even the couple’s therapist, she said, struggled to identify the signs of abuse for a long time.
“I’ve had several sessions with him in the last several years where he’s apologized to me, because I think he realized what was going on right toward the end,” Kendrick revealed.
The Turning Point That Helped Her See the Truth
It wasn’t until one particularly emotional therapy session that Kendrick finally began to see the relationship for what it truly was. After she “just started crying” and couldn’t “pretend that things were fine anymore,” the therapist called her and expressed how proud he was of her for speaking up.
“That’s when I knew, like, ‘Oh, something has shifted,'” Kendrick said. “Things ended pretty quickly after that.”
The Difficulty of Recognizing Abuse
Kendrick‘s story highlights the immense challenge that many victims of emotional abuse face in even identifying their situation as abusive in the first place. As she noted, the abuse didn’t fit the “traditional pattern” that is often associated with domestic violence.
“I had so much love and trust for that person, so I thought it had to be me,” Kendrick explained. “If one of us is crazy, it must be me,” Kendrick explained. So it was very, very difficult to actually say, ‘No, I think this is him. I think this is his stuff.'”
Turning trauma into art
Ultimately, Kendrick‘s decision to take on the role of Alice in her new film was a profoundly personal one, as she grappled with her own recent experience of escaping an abusive relationship.
“It’s a similar thing where it was like pushing myself off of a cliff and not giving myself the time to go. ‘Is this a good choice?'” she said. “Because I just didn’t want somebody to tell me—maybe this is the childhood thing of, like, ‘I don’t want you to tell me it’s bedtime.’ Like, ‘I need to do this. I’m going to do this.'”
By bravely sharing her story, Kendrick has not only shed light on the complex and often misunderstood issue of emotional abuse, but she has also used her platform to inspire others who may be facing similar challenges.
“I just couldn’t spend another second breathing dishonest air,” the actress said, reflecting on the aftermath of her relationship. And in doing so, she has demonstrated the immense power of vulnerability and the transformative potential of turning one’s own trauma into art.
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