Actress Eva Mendes is known for her captivating performances on the big screen, but behind the scenes, she’s navigating the all-too-familiar challenges of parenthood, just like many of us.
In a recent appearance on the “Parenting & You” podcast with Dr. Shefali, the 51-year-old star opened up about one of the toughest habits she’s been trying to break as a mother—yelling.
“I think one of the hardest patterns for me is yelling,” Mendes revealed, her voice wavering with emotion. “Because I have never yelled, ‘Shut up!’ or anything, or because I do not yell when they need me.” In my opinion, it is not the same as a mean “yell.” But it doesn’t matter, I yell.”
The actress, who shares two daughters, Esmeralda, 10, and Amada, 8, with her longtime partner, actor Ryan Gosling, says the “rushing and the yelling” have been the biggest challenge for her as a parent.
Mendes’ candid admission resonates with numerous mothers who have struggled to assert themselves amidst the chaotic nature of family life. However, Mendes finds this struggle particularly poignant because it stems from her own upbringing.
“My mother was indeed loving and amazing, but it felt like we were raised by fear,” Mendes said, her eyes filled with tears. “That whole thing. I truly emphasize the importance of awareness.
The actress went on to express her deepest hope that she’s not inadvertently passing down that same pattern to her own children. “I sincerely hope that I will not be able to look back 20 years and say, ‘Oh, shoot.'” She said, “I did that because I truly don’t want to grow up in fear.”
Mendes’ vulnerability in this moment is a powerful reminder that even the most successful and celebrated Hollywood stars face the same universal struggles as parents. Her fear of unknowingly putting “pressure on [her] kids through fear” is a sentiment that will resonate with countless mothers striving to break the cycles of their own upbringings.
This isn’t the first time Mendes has opened up about the complexities of motherhood. In a recent conversation with Drew Barrymore, the actress shared how she initially felt “very clear” about her identity as a mom but then later experienced a sense of being “lost” as her children grew older.
“I actually didn’t feel lost; I felt very clear,” Mendes said. “But then I felt lost, if that makes sense. The cliché of ‘OK, who am I now that the kids can survive on their own?'”
Mendes’ honesty about the shifting nature of her maternal identity is a refreshing departure from the often polished and curated narratives surrounding celebrity parents. Her willingness to share her struggles and vulnerabilities humanizes the experience of motherhood, making it feel more relatable and accessible to her fans.
Fortunately, Mendes has found a steadfast partner in Gosling, who has also made changes to his professional life to prioritize his family. In a recent interview, the actor revealed that he no longer takes on “dark” acting roles to ensure a healthier home environment for Mendes and their children.
“I don’t really take roles that are going to put me in some kind of dark place,” Gosling told the Wall Street Journal. “At this moment, I am attempting to assess the situation at home and determine what is best for all of us. ” I make decisions with Eva, and we prioritize our family’s needs first.
As Mendes continues to navigate the ups and downs of parenting, her candid reflections serve as a powerful reminder that even the most successful and celebrated mothers face universal struggles. By sharing her story, she not only provides comfort and solidarity to fellow parents but also reminds us all that the most important work we can do is to break generational patterns and build a better future for our children.